confession before death
by liulishu
Summary: she goes on a solo mission to hunt an aragami, she is badly injured and may never make it through alive.she reminisces about her memories with a certain buster blader, and realizes her last wish before dying.To confess her affection towards soma shicksal.Was it all just a one-sided love, or did soma never realize the important feelings he has for her? sequel to Unknown Feelings.R
1. confession

welcome to the sequel to the story:unknown feelings. :D do remember to review and make sure to look forward to chapter 2 of this story! ~

* * *

Protagonist's p.o.v.

I drag my tired feet across the hard floor, with one hand holding onto my bloody wound at the waist, the other hand dragging loosely of the almost shattered red god arc.

I lean against the hard rock wall for support, dragging my heavy body towards nowhere in mind.

I feel my body aching, stinging with pain from all the bloody wounds.

This is what Lindow must have felt when he had to handle a prithiv mata and a dyaus pita all by himself.

I feel my legs going numb, running out of strength to even stand. I slip down onto the hard rocky floor, leaning my back against the rocky caves of the wall. I search my pocket for recovery pills, but shit, I ran out of them. I feel my temperature dropping, and tiredness was making me sleepy.

_No, I can't sleep now. I can't give up now._

I quickly take off the already torn white coat, revealing the blood stained sleeveless collar shirt. I slightly roll up the shirt, taking a look at the wound.

It's deep. There's no way I'll be able to last for more than a few hours.

Using the white coat I quickly wrapped it tightly around my waist, hoping the blood loss would at least decrease by a little.

I check the wound on my right leg; flesh could be seen from the torn black leggings. I reach into my pocket to find the barely enough bandage roll, and tie it tightly around the wound. I feel my back hiss at the sudden pain, the new-type aragami did a good job with scratching my back.

My tired eyes seem to fall off into darkness, the stinging pain from all my wounds doesn't seem to hurt that much. Sleep seduces me as my little energy wears out. I furiously blink my eyes, hoping to wake myself up.

_Don't sleep! You still have people waiting for you back at the den!_

I find myself thinking about the people who surrounded me. Will Lindow be mad that I couldn't follow his orders to stay alive?

Will Sakuya grief over my death like she did when she thought Lindow was dead?

Will Kota be able to handle all the rookies without my advice?

Will Alisa still be able to control her fragile emotions knowing I'm gone?

"_Don't you dare die!" a small voice in my mind plays. _

_Soma…._

I clench my fists knowing that it's hopeless now.

I'm sorry… I won't be able to say goodbye…

Some tears dripped down as I stare into the corner of the rock wall.

There are…so many things…I wanted to tell you….

"_Do you miss shio?"_

"_You're not a killer. "_

"_Aisha and Johannes died by their own wills. "_

"_Being in the same unit means trusting your back to your comrades."_

"_You don't have to be afraid of losing to death if you protect them with your own power."_

(Referring to the part where soma doesn't get close to others because he's afraid of seeing his comrades die)

"_I've been silently watching you from the shadows, protecting you with the smallest of words and actions."_

"_**Because you mean so much to me, soma."**_

* * *

_Earlier that day:_

Soma's p.o.v.

I wake up at the furious sounds of footsteps outside the room.

I feel better as my temperature has gotten back to normal and had gotten some rest.

I realize that my cheeks are slightly wet with drips of water.

I touch the droplets of water on my cheeks.

_Are these….tears?_

I remember mumbling of a soft voice in my sleep.

Was there someone talking while I was asleep?

I stare at the now empty bowl on the table; it reminded me how the pastel blue haired leader took care of me.

geez, I wonder if she's back from the mission yet.

I quickly walk out of the room to the entrance section.

…

I hear voices as I approach the entrance section.

"What do you mean we can't get through?"

"She could be hurt! We need to go search for her!"

"What's all the commotion about?" I ask as I approach them.

Everyone turns to stare at me, like how I don't know what everyone knows.

Everyone's turns quiet, waiting for someone to speak up.

"Where's the reckless leader?" I ask.

Everyone avoids my gaze.

"She…went on a solo mission….and still hasn't came back." Kota finally answers.

I start to feel worried knowing what everyone's arguing about.

"We were supposed to go on a mission together, but she suddenly said that she's leaving the mission to Lindow, Kota, Alisa and me." Sakuya says.

"We though she probably wanted a day off or something, until hibari told us that her communication device was disconnected.

Every god eater has a communication device, it is always connected to the system of the den, there is no way to disconnect it, unless it was somehow broken during combat.

Shit. She could be hurt badly.

"why won't anyone send back up? We'll go!" I say with rage.

"We can't afford losing any more god eaters. We can't send out a back up team not until we've confirmed that the new-type aragami is gone from the area yet. " tsubaki says with her strict voice.

There has been an increase in new-type aragami activity. I should have seen this coming, this mission was going to be given out to her sooner or later.

"Sending out a team of inexperienced god eaters to retrieve her when we don't even know if the new-type aragami's still alive is pure suicidal. Besides the outer ghetto's anti aragami wall is getting weaker and we god eaters have to be on standby twenty-four seven." Tsubaki replies.

"Then are we just going to sit here and wait until her armlet sends signals that she's dead?" I shout with rage.

Alisa and kota looks at me with hurtful eyes. While Lindow stares at the ground.

"I'm going no matter what! There's no way I'm going to sit here and wait for a miracle." I say as I head to desk to ask for details from hibari.

"Leader has done a lot for all of us. I'm sure if I was the one out there right now, she would do the same. I'm going no matter what." Alisa says with determination in her eyes.

"I'm going too. She didn't kill me when I was on the verge of turning into an aragami. She told me to never escape from living. So I'm doing the same." Lindow says with a strong voice.

"We're going too." Sakuya and kota says.

"Hold It right there, haven't you all listened to what I just said? It's a new-type aragami; we can only pray that she managed to somehow kill it. I will allow soma, Sakuya and Lindow to go on the search mission. But Kota and Alisa will stay back." Tsubaki says.

"why?!" alisa and kota says.

"Because there won't be anyone else to deal with the more dangerous aragami if all the veterans go. Lindow is an experienced leader, while Sakuya is a medic, soma is an assault corporal. They have higher chances of escaping and rescuing her." tsubaki replies.

Alisa and Kota were promoted to veterans during the 3 year period. But both of them still remained in the 1st unit as mostly worked on training rookies.

"It'll be alright rookies! You both are already experienced in dealing with aragami that you both are already training rookies." Lindow says cheering the two.

"let's go we don't have much time, let's hope we can make it there before the sun sets." I say.

"alright, Sakuya you're in charge of getting the supplies, make it quick. Soma you're in charge of getting the chopper ready, I'll get the details from Hibari. We're leaving in 10 minutes." Lindow says as he gets back into his leader character.

I quickly nod and head off to get my god arc from the storage area.

If it weren't for me getting sick, she probably didn't need to head off to that mission alone.

I knew I should have got on that mission whether she threatened to chain me to the sick bay or not.

**"That's because we're comrades, soma. Don't you even know why I care about you?"**

Comrades huh…

_We're nothing else but comrades. Yet I feel that I'm always eager to make sure that she's not hurt._

I know she cares a lot about me. So I do my best to make sure she doesn't end up getting hurt.

That's all there was between us…right?

I quickly shook off those thoughts, now wasn't the time to be thinking that.

I had to make sure that she's still alive, I wanted to see her face one more time, and I needed to hear her voice one more time.

You better not die when I make it there,

_Aoi._

* * *

Protagonist's p.o.v.

Haruna Aoi isn't always the strong and kind leader everyone in the den sees. With the name of spring(haru) and flower(hana) combined with the color blue(aoi),everyone think I'm the typical bright princess, surrounded by flowers and happiness.

I didn't have any parents; I only had a brother which was older than me by 5 years. My brother always took care of me, even though he was a full time god eater, he would always take care of me no matter what.

But one time, this one time… we had a fight. I was angry, and I went out of the house. I was still so young, too young to understand the meaning of aragami. And while running in the snow, there was a susanoo. Too young to listen, too ignorant to see, I understood the true meaning of **fear. **The susanoo large like a scorpion, with burning pink flames surrounding it's body, sharp blades on all of its arms, that was the first time I saw an aragami. **It had taken away the** **most important thing in my life.**

The susanoo took away the life of my only brother, my only blood relative, and my only family. Thanks to his sacrifice, I managed to survive. Going through life with the grief, pain, loneliness, and guilt was living hell, but I too, became a god eater.

I too gave up the title of "princess", because in this goddamned world, princesses don't exist.

It was then I understood. If my life was ruined by this aragami, I will not let the same thing happen to others**. Becoming a god eater meant a path to suicidal, a path to become a monster to fight a monster, a path to protect the ones who aren't strong enough to protect themselves. **

**And a path to protect the ones you love. **

With only a god arc in hand, I feel as if I hold the weight of millions of lives on my shoulders. I no longer need fake chants of magical spells witches use; I no longer need magical powers to protect, With my shining god arc, and a brave stance to fight against the god, **I am no longer a princess, but a knight who fights to protect.**

These were all the things I learned in life, my life.

"I wonder if I've atoned for what I've done?" I say out to the wind.

"At least, I was able to protect others before I died. Did I do a good job, nii-san?" I ask again to the cold wind.

The wounds hiss again, the pain was getting stronger, moving was almost impossible with the current damage my body had gotten.

I feel nostalgia. I remember those nights, when I would walk in to soma's room, and bandage his wounds that were too stubborn to head to the sick bay to get them cleaned up.

Those nights that we would just stay in his room and talk about the simplest things, make sure he doesn't feel lonely, give him company, share the smallest of smiles and laughter. Those nights, were the only thing that I looked forward besides going on missions to hunt some nasty aragami.

**It was the closest thing between us, a bond of just simply sharing thoughts with each other. **

These feelings now a simple one-sided affection from me towards him, too scared to tell, too scared to know the truth, these feelings will and never be said to him.

But I was on the verge of death, deep, bloody wounds covering every inch of my body. There was no way I would make it through.

_*Inserts vampire knight OST: forbidden act*_

If I had one wish, if there even was a god who would just grant me one wish, one wish before I leave this putrid world…

If I were to spend this one wish, **let me express my feelings towards him, towards soma.**

Let me not have any regrets, let me, tell him how much he is…how important he is to me. How words can barely describe my one-sided affection towards him.

But it's all just my hopes right? The truth was that, I'll be going down the pits of hell, without completing my one last wish right?

I'll be dead…

Without seeing his face one more time.

Without hearing his deep yet gentle voice one more time.

Without teasing his easily embarrassed personality.

Without comforting his lonely soul one more time.

Without staring into his sea blue eyes one last time.

**Without…him by my side….**

Tears drop down like a waterfall. I allow myself to sink in to those desperate emotions that were bottling up ever since I became a god eater.

These tears….these memories between us….the moments we've had…the conversations we had…and the smallest and slightest of affection.

Are the only things left of soma…to me.

I miss him too much, I love him too much, to just let my life end it here.

Tears drop down endlessly.

His voice seems to linger in my mind, making more tears stain my already pale and cold face.

"Aoi….!"

It lingers again.

"Haruna Aoi!"

It seems like it's getting closer every time. Hallucinations were made to fool my mental self huh?

"Aoi!" the voice that I recognized anywhere seems to shock my senses.

It's so close….is it really him? Is it really you soma?

"Soma…!" I scream with my barely hearable hoarse voice.

The footsteps seem to come closer, but it disappears shortly after that.

No, soma….i'm here….don't go…

"soma….soma!" I scream his name with all of my strength.

Scared to be left behind, too scared to be forgotten. I didn't notice tears stain my face again.

My wounds hiss again, probably due to the strength I used when screaming.

"Aoi!" soma says with a clear voice as he approaches the entrance.

And I see him, with a worried expression that I rarely see, those sea blue eyes staring right back at me with pure worried and slight relief.

I see him. I see soma. I'm not dreaming am i…? Relief hits me as I see his face.

He scans my worn out figure for a second, probably shocked at the damage I took.

He quickly runs over, with his white buster blade on his right hand.

He kneels down to my height and quickly searches his pocket for the tools.

"Hey, you're gonna be alright ok." soma says with worried as he lights up the flare to signal others.

I stare down at the ground, too embarrassed to let him see my tear stained face, to afraid to let him know.

"Where are you hurt?" he asks.

I point to my bloody coat that was covering my bloody waist.

He takes off the previously white now red coat, throwing it at the ground.

He carefully cuts through my shirt, needing to bandage the wound quickly.

He takes a roll of bandage and wraps it around my waist, the medicine he applied stings, more like hurts till I can't bear to look.

I whimper at the sting of the pain, he tries his best to not hurt me any further.

I feel my eyes getting heavy by the second, was it because of the medicine soma applied?

Soma forces himself to pinch my cheeks making me sober.

"You better not fall asleep!" soma says with a strict voice.

Soma scans the other wounds she has, her back, her right leg, her right wrist, every one of them were definitely going to leave scars. It hurts him, to see her getting hurt till this extend.

"I'm sorry…." Soma manages to say staring at my scarlet red eyes.

"what are you even sorry about soma? I could have died if you didn't come…" I say with a weak voice staring right back at him.

"if it weren't for me getting sick, you wouldn't need to go on this mission alone. Look at you, you're barely alive." He says searching his pocket for the pain killer liquid.

"Soma.. How many times do I have to tell you. There are some things that must be done, I'm a god eater, I can't be selfish, this mission was going to have to be done sooner or later….even if you weren't sick, I would have assigned you to go on with Sakuya for the mission. I wouldn't' let anyone else join this mission with me, it's too risky….I wouldn't want you dying on me…." I say with eyes staring at his hurtful eyes.

"I thought you said comrades are someone you trust your back to." Soma replies as he injects the green pain killer liquid through my shoulder.

"well…."

Here goes my last wish…

"You're more than a comrade to me soma…." I say as I feel sleepier.

He stares at me with a questionable look, as if…waiting for me to continue.

"I thought I was going to die. I thought that I wouldn't be able to see you again, I thought that I wouldn't be able to comfort you again, I thought that…I'd die without telling you some things that I should have told you…a long time ago…" I say without looking at him.

Sometimes, a god eater does crazy things. And this was one of them.

"For all those years of hiding it, and acting my feelings away, I can't believe I'm actually saying this…. soma shicksal….I love you…and the only thing that I regretted before I die, was that I wanted to tell you…what my feelings were towards you…" I say still not looking at him, still too embarrassed to look up.

If it weren't for my blood loss, I'm pretty sure I look like a tomato right now.

"…are you serious….?" He asks with curious eyes.

"…yes….i know it's embarrassing…..but…..oh… I don't know….i just wanted to say it…before I regret in my afterlife…" I say embarrassed.

Please, just kill me would you? Where's that new type aragami? Quick shoot me with whatever you've got.

"Aoi! Are you an idiot? who the hell confesses when their on the verge of dying? And you're not going to die, you are going to live!" soma says forcing me to look up at him.

His cheeks are flushed with pink. He must have been embarrassed too.

My vision starts getting blurry. It's finally kicking in…the effects of major blood loss and damage to the cells.

"hey! I told you not to sleep!" he orders as he grabs a bottle of blue elixir.

I can barely hear his voice, I wonder if I'll make it through this alive.

He opens the cap and uses his fingers to touch my lips and opens them, carefully trickling the blue elixir down my throat.

The elixir causes my oracle cells to work again, of course, the stupid pain worsened.

#lindow: sakuya is heading over to your area soma. Prepare to retreat. This new-type is hard to deal with.

"Lindow..? you guys have to escape…I only barely managed to damage the oracle cells of the new-type aragami. He's still not near dead yet!" I say with a weak voice.

"Just leave it to us. You've done enough." Soma replies.

#soma: roger that. Preparing to retreat, over.

Sakuya arrives just on time "soma! Is leader ok?"

"she's badly injured, we need to get her to a medic ASAP. Sakuya, take my god arc. Have you secured the area?" soma asks.

"already secured, the chopper's outside. We need to get on it and secure leader first before Lindow can escape." Sakuya replies holding the heavy white buster blade on her right hand, her own black god arc on her left hand.

"alright, let's move out." Soma says as he gently grabs my waist and puts a hand under my legs.

"h-hey! P-put me down!" I said trying to move out of his bold way of carrying me, bridal style.

"As if you can walk on your own idiot. Aren't you supposed to be sleeping or something?" soma asks as he walks behind Sakuya carrying me.

My eyelids were already heavy, but I refused to succumb to sleep when soma, is the one carrying me.

"How do you expect me to sleep with you holding me like that…?" I say hiding the slight flush in my cheeks.

"geez, it's not like I'm a pervert or something." Soma says carefully searching the area.

I rather have a pervert carry me instead of you. You make me want to jump off a cliff.

I remain silent as the aftereffects of all the medicine kick in together; my hands feel cold like ice.

"Just get some rest; it's going to be a long ride back to the den." Soma says as the chopper lands down on the ground before us.

I slightly nod with blurry eyes staring at him.

He sets me down on one of the stretchers, signaling some medics to get over and check me.

"You too, soma, you shouldn't be doing reckless things. Only I do that." I say with a weak smirk.

"Get some sleep already. You've lost too much blood. The first thing when you wake up is a tight and long lecture about reckless solo missions from me to you." Soma says with a smirk.

I smile at his last comment. _At least, I've been able to fulfill that last wish….._

My energy finally comes to an end and my eyes now shut tight letting unconsciousness take over.

* * *

Well, how about that? Somewhere near 4000 words? I'm impressed! I still haven't showered and I have a bunch of homework I need to do for school. :/

**Look forward to chapter 2 of this story guys! And make sure you leave a review, and remember to add this story to your favorites!**

Do tell me what you think ;D

Thanks to the only reviewer for the prologue of this story-unknown feelings, thank you GUEST :D


	2. relationship

Welcome to the 2nd chapter of "confession before death". There might be another sequel to this, cuz I have a bunch of ideas for this :D. I highly suggest reading "unknown feelings" before reading this first. It'll make things clearer.

Is it just me, or am I writing more bullshit every chapter?

Remember to review guys ;)

* * *

Soma's p.o.v.

I open the door to the large room of the laboratory section- the sick bay. The large white room was practically empty, except for the girl that was sleeping soundly in the corner of the room. Just like each day after missions, I would visit her, talk to her, and tell her things.

I walk to the side of the sleeping girl, sitting on the chair next to her, her pastel blue hair, now let down cascading her pale face. Her bright red eyes now closed, leaving only a sleeping body.

"Hey, so I heard kota is doing well with training the rookies. Especially Eric's sister, Erica. They make a great team."

"I'm sure In just a couple more months, Erica will be able to be assigned as full time god eater. Just like Eric."

I turn to look at her pale face. Still no response.

I recall the time told me that she was severely injured and that it would take months to fully heal. But….they wasn't sure if she would wake up. It was all up to her, she had to fight, to live or die.

It has already been two weeks since she was asleep. It wasn't right; the first unit leader that was usually laughing and doing reckless and silly things was just sleeping. What if….what if she never wakes up?

No. I can't think about that. I need to believe in her.

"oi, how long are you planning on sleeping? You better not slack off while we're doing your job!"

I remember those nights, when she would try to comfort me. Barging into my room, rambling about everything, talking about everything, laughing about anything, but those were the nights…That I had felt truly at peace.

_"You're more than a comrade to me soma…."_

"_I thought that…I'd die without telling you some things that I should have told you…a long time ago…"_

"_I can't believe I'm actually saying this…. soma schicksal….I love you…"_

I feel blood rushing against my cheeks. I didn't know…how I should have reacted at that time. I never thought about it….that reckless leader would have feelings….for a monster like me..

_Do i…have the same feelings for her too?_

It was different from the feelings I had towards shio. I felt some sort of…indescribable attraction between us. Maybe because, she was a human form aragami, and I was…a half-aragami,half-human.

"I don't know how I should say this…"

"You mean a lot to me. I wouldn't want to see you getting hurt...I want to protect you…."

"But I don't know if I have the same strong feelings you have for me."

Maybe because I was afraid of losing someone dear to me again, like how shio did….maybe that was why…I didn't dare to think about my feelings towards her. Maybe…I just didn't want to experience the sorrow of losing someone dear to me again.

"It's not fair…towards you. I don't deserve your love, Aoi…."

**It wasn't right for her to love me. I didn't deserve it. I don't want to put her through the pain….of loving a monster like me.**

"I'm really sorry….Aoi…."

I hesitate to continue the next sentence…should I even say it in front of her?

"Aoi….the executives are thinking about resigning me…to 5th unit leader…"

"The 5th unit's been missing a leader for quite some time….should I accept the offer?"

I take a deep breath.

"I should really get going…you need your rest…."

I turn back to see her face one last time before leaving.

"Please wake up…Aoi…" I say to the wind.

If soma had stayed a little longer….he would have seen the fluttering of eyelashes….and the single teardrop that stained her pale face.

* * *

Protagonist's p.o.v.

The sunset that colored the sky with its vivid colors amazed me. The view of city of mercy was always something that seemed like a miracle in this god-awful place. My pastel blue hair swayed in the wind, my front bangs covering the side of my face.

The plain white sleeveless dress that reached my knees was swaying in the wind. The visible bandages were the ones that wrapped my right arm and left leg. The bandaged wounds that were covered by the piece of clothing would be the one wrapping my waist and back. I know I'm not supposed to be here, out in the cold where aragami could be around. But staying back in the den was the same as getting eaten by an aragami, because these fragile emotions would be seen.

"_But I don't know if I have the same strong feelings you have for me."_

The words that I heard soma say while I was half asleep was like a sword that cut through my heart. I knew it….it was a one-sided love after all. He never did have feelings of me, he only thought of me as a leader. _He's leader._

Why did I even do something as stupid as confessing to him..?

In the end, it was just my feelings. I was too naïve, to think that he'd at least have feelings for me.

A teardrop fell down my cheek.

Flashbacks of our conversations together appeared in my mind. It was a beautiful memory that I missed too much.

"No, you can't think about that…it'll only make the pain harder…" I tell myself wiping away the tears.

This platform….I remember it all so clear. This was the place…where shio had fainted…and the place where I saw…soma's deep worry towards shio. Even if shio wasn't here anymore, i know… I would never be able to be seen through the orbs of pure affection that soma has for shio.

Another tear harasses my cheek again.

I'll never be able to replace shio, never will be able to take shio's place in soma's heart.

"_Aoi….the executives are thinking about resigning me…to 5__th__ unit leader…"_

5th unit leader. I should have seen it coming. I was too scared to let myself think about him being resigned.

It's been 3 years already, soma can take care of a unit already. In fact, he had more experience than I did….letting him take over 5th unit was a good idea.

_But we won't be in the same unit anymore…_

_We won't be able to barge into each others' room…stealing rationed beer or just talk…_

_He'll have his own missions and subordinates to deal with…and I have mine…_

_We won't be able to brief missions together…_

_And someday, he'll forget my existence…_

_We'll be distant apart like he never knew me._

This time the tears won't stop. It feels like I'm scared. I'm scared of losing him, like how I lost my older brother, or how I almost lost lindow.

He was the only one…to ever have made me feel happy, cared, or even being looked on to.

Maybe this was what sakuya felt, when she had to leave lindow. I sort of understand now, why she was crying.

**Because it hurts, to see that someone leaving your side.**

**It hurts not being able to see his face.**

**It hurts not being able to talk to him and ask how he's feeling.**

**It hurts not being able to spend time with him anymore.**

**It just hurts, because he means too much to me.**

Damn it, stop thinking about him already!

"You can't let the weak side of you take over. You're a leader, you're a god eater. You fight to protect, don't let these small things get to you!" I tell myself wiping away tears.

Years of fighting aragami and trained senses told me that there was someone's presence.

"Don't come any closer! I just…need some time alone…that's all." I say loudly hiding the shaking in my voice.

A gust of wind blows through us.

"Coming out alone without your god arc is pure suicidal and you still haven't fully recovered. C'mon, let's go back to the den." Soma says as he looks at her back.

A million of thoughts go on in my mind.

"soma, please be honest with me. Please tell me if what you've said was true." I say without turning back.

"Please tell me if…if you've ever had the same strong feelings I have for you. Please tell me, if you've ever…ever thought of me aside from your leader, aside from your comrade, aside of a friend?" I say this time looking straight right back at his ocean blue eyes.

He shows signs of slight shock when he's eyes widen at her question.

He hesitates. He doesn't know, if it's right to tell her.

"….."

She hates the silence he gives. She knows that he doesn't want to answer to that question. **She knows the answer he's not willing to give all too well.**

"please, soma. I need to know…" I say with desperate yet hurtful eyes staring at him.

He hesitates again. He's not ready….to say anything on his mind.

She's given up. She doesn't want to force him; his indirect way of rejection was more than enough to tell her that she needs to leave before things get messy for her.

She turns around and runs without hesitation.

_She doesn't realize, the tears at the edge of her eyes threatening to fall._

"Aoi! Wait up!" soma shouts in an attempt to chase her.

_Please just leave! Stop chasing me already!_

Soma doesn't give up on chasing her through the rubbles and broken cement roads of the city of mercy.

_Please, I already know your answer! Just leave me with the smallest bit of pride I have left!_

He knows it'll only cause things to get messier than it already was if he doesn't catch her now.

_I know- you don't love me at all soma. _

She continues to run, running through everyplace with all her might. Her tired legs threaten to make her fall, but she doesn't give up, she doesn't want to stop and face him.

"Aoi! Stop running damn it!" soma shouts again in an attempt to stop her.

She doesn't stop. She doesn't want to let soma see her tears, she doesn't want to make their relationship worse, and she doesn't want to make him reconsider his promotion to 5th unit leader.

The more she runs, the more her mind blanks. She knew she wasn't in the greatest condition to be picking a marathon, but she felt like blood wasn't pumping enough to her brain. She feels light headed, and doesn't notice the place she's standing at.

She trips when her leg muscles strain, only to realize that she was standing at the edge of the broken road.

_Shit, I'm going to fall._

"Aoi!" soma shouts as he runs as fast as he can to catch her.

Everything she sees starts moving in slow motion.

She sees soma's shock filled eyes staring right back at her.

And she reaches her hand to him, trying to catch his hand if not falling into the large ocean.

Just as their fingers interlock, she feels as if time stopped.

She knows this feeling, it transfers her mind to another state, it forces her mind to see the thoughts and memories of others.

_Resonance_

It occurs when she touches the hand of the person before her, soma.

She sees the thoughts and memories of him, like how it occurred to Alisa and Lindow.

**(note: **_**italic=soma's thoughts **_**underline=Aoi's thoughts)**

"_You mean a lot to me. I wouldn't want to see you getting hurt...I want to protect you…."_

Is this…soma's thoughts?

"_But I don't know if I have the same strong feelings you have for me."_

This was the conversation I heard while I was half asleep.

"_It's not fair…towards you. I don't deserve your love, Aoi…."_

Why are you saying this…soma?

_**It wasn't right for her to love me. I didn't deserve it. I don't want to put her through the pain….of loving a monster like me.**_

You're not a monster soma! 

"_I'm really sorry….Aoi…."_

Before she can say anything further, her mind transfers back into reality.

Fear strikes her senses when she realizes she's falling into the large ocean.

Just before she hits the splash of water, she realizes she's being tightly wrapped around by a pair of protective arms.

*splash*

She sinks into the endless pool of water, she can't open her eyes. The water is making her vision blurry. She gasps for air but she can't breathe, but it was too blur to make way of where to swim to.

She barely sees the body that was embracing her earlier. It pulls her entire body upwards towards the surface of the water.

She coughs at the amount of water she choked in. she opens her eyes to see a platinum blonde with ocean blue eyes staring at her with worried eyes.

"soma…?" I manage to sputter as I keep my body half afloat on the surface of the water.

He holds my hand and asks "I'll get you up shore. Can you swim?"

I nod at his question and he leads me to the wooden bridge that was connecting the ocean and the land.

He climbs up easily with his heightened agility. Then he extends a hand out and pulls me up to land.

I sit on the wooden bridge as exhaustion takes over my body. My oracle cells haven't recovered so swimming was definitely going to open up some wounds.

I feel cold, the temperature of the water was so cold that it was affecting my health.

I wrap my soaked body with my hands trying to feel warm.

Soma wraps he's white fenrir coat around my body.

"idiot, as if you aren't sick enough you decide to go swimming and catch a cold." He says sternly.

I stare at him with serious eyes.

"soma, you should know that resonance occurred when I touched your hand." I say to him.

He looks back at me…

"i…." he starts out.

"soma, how many times do I have to tell you? You're not a monster!" I say.

"you're not going to kill me, you're a human for god sake. Don't do this to me…or yourself…don't suffer alone…." I say with hurtful eyes looking at him.

He saddens at my hurtful look and brings me to a tight embrace.

He's arms feel protective against my back.

He's embrace makes everything feel warmer, even this heart that was crying a moment ago, was healing at his touch.

"I'm sorry, Aoi…" soma says.

"don't say sorry. If you want me to feel better, then answer me honestly….do you…love me…soma?" I ask staring into his blue eyes.

My heart skips a beat when I look at him.

"all my life, I've been told by everyone around me that I was a monster." Soma says.

"I was born with the bias factor, with my heightened senses and ability, I became the first god eater. everyone saw me as an aragami, a death god, and never thought of me as a human."

"That was when I decided, that I'd never believe me in anyone. I'd only count on myself. Not even Lindow or sakuya was able to make me break this wall."

"Until I met you. You were just a rookie that was too kind hearted, too busy-body for my taste." He says with a slight smirk.

I frown at his comment.

"but eventually, you became leader, even when everyone thought differently about me, you didn't change. You continued to look over me, comforting me, talking to me, and never did look at me with fearful eyes. **Instead, your eyes were filled with warmth, only wanting to befriend me.** "Soma continues.

"That…was the first time I've ever felt being cared for. Time past so fast…it's already been 3 years…." He says.

"But my feelings won't change, because Aoi you're still here with me. I want to be honest with you…" he says as he trails off.

My heart beats faster, anxious and nervous at the same time waiting for his answer.

"I've let you suffered for far too long. I should have told you sooner, and not let you watch over me while getting hurt…" soma says as his eyes have a hint of guilt and sadness in them.

He's ocean blue eyes stare right back at my scarlet red eyes. I feel nervous, should I say something?

"**Aoi….i'm sorry….but please gives me the chance to love you back….because….i love you too…"** soma says as he's cheeks shade a tint of pink.

I feel myself asking….if what I heard was true.

I never believed that one day; I'd be able to listen to these words…from soma's mouth.

A tear slips down from my eyes.

"I-I never thought that….I'd be able to listen to these words…." I muttered.

He wipes away the tear at the edge of my eye with his finger.

He brings me closer to his chest, making my head lay down on his chest.

A blush covers my cheek from the close skin contact.

"You shouldn't say 'I'm sorry' soma. I should be the one saying 'thank you' for letting me have the chance to hear those words…" I say in a small voice.

"Does this mean you'll accept my love?" he asks with a hand stroking my hair.

I smile at him. There was nothing else in the world that could make me feel happier than those words.

"As long as you love me, soma." I reply to him with a smirk.

* * *

…

"Haruna Aoi, do you even value your own life? First you get fatal wounds by an aragami, then you run off to the wild without your god arc knowing its pure suicidal, then you end up getting a cold and open up your wounds, and now you're here soaking wet." Tsubaki yells at me sternly.

"h-hai…." I muttered as I wrap my soaked body around the dry towels.

"Do I need to assign you to some lectures and tests to reconsider your active status of a god eater?" tsubaki asks threatening me.

"N-no…" I reply.

"geez, go easy on her sis. Soma went after her didn't he? And now she's back here, safe and sound." Lindow says as he inhales the cigarette smoke.

"no smoking in the sick bay!" tsubaki orders.

Lindow quickly hides the cigarette stick from his overly stern sister.

"tsubaki-san…I have a favor to ask…" I say to the black haired woman.

"and it is?" she asks while Lindow looks at me too.

They were the only ones allowed inside the sick bay with me since I came back to the den.

"can you help me hand this over to sakaki? It should come in handy to persuade the other higher-ups." I say as I handed a letter to tsubaki.

Many of the higher-ups were still not too fond of soma, especially at the fact that he's the ex-director Johannes's son.

She opens the letter to see the words that I wrote.

"Letter of recognition from haruna aoi, 1st unit leader. Appointing soma schicksal of 1st unit to leader of 5th unit….. " tsubaki reads aloud as she glances at me.

"what? How'd you find out about this, rookie?" Lindow asked.

"soma….told me….i think, he'll become an excellent leader. He has the experience and the skill, please tell sakaki this." I say to them both.

I was still afraid to let soma go. Especially when….we had just gotten together….

"are you sure about this?" Lindow asked with serious eyes looking at me.

The fact that he was looking at me with those eyes were because he knew I liked soma for quite a long time, and I'm sure he's asking if I'm ready to let him go from this unit just yet.

I nod at Lindow with a slight smile.

"Alright, then I'll give this to sakaki." Tsubaki said.

"Get some sleep, Aoi. I'll call a medic in to check on your wounds." Tsubaki says as she leaves.

Shortly after tsubaki left, the whole first unit came over to the sick bay.

"so Aoi! I'll lend you the whole series of season 2 of bugarally!" kota says as he walks over.

"sounds fun, kota!" I reply to him with a smile.

"thank god you woke up. I was worried, unlike you." Alisa says as she glares at kota.

"what? I was worried too!" kota defends.

"so, what happened? What made you run out all alone to the wild?" asked sakuya worried.

Everyone turns their attention to me, obviously waiting for my answer.

"i….um….." I muttered awkwardly.

I try to avoid soma's intense gaze.

How can I reply something as stupid as 'I thought I got rejected. I went out all alone to cool my head and maybe silently hoped that I'd get killed by some aragami.'

"she went to see the sunset at the city of mercy." soma says.

"sunset?" Lindow asked.

"uh…yeah….with soma…! " I reply stuttering.

The room suddenly silenced, everyone looking at me and soma like we just turn into an aragami.

"oh, my, my!" teased sakuya.

"Hey, when did you guys get all chummy?" kota asks with a sly grin.

Soma's face shades a bright pink color.

While mine, was practically a tomato.

"Oh, is that right?" teased alisa with a grin.

"Wow, I never knew you were the romantic type soma!" Lindow says laughing.

"Damn it, better to be a loner after all." Soma says in a small voice.

"N-no, it's not like that! It's just u-uhhh…." I reply hesitating.

"just what?" kota asked.

Should I tell them? But…

A light knock at the door interrupts us.

Hibari walks in with a smile and says "sorry to bother but, director sakaki has just asked for soma schicksal to meet him in his office."

Saved!

"old-man sakaki?" soma asked.

"well, you better get going soma!" Lindow said.

Soma looks at me before leaving at the door; I give him a nod in return as he walks off.

* * *

…

I yawn heavily as I set down the papers on my bed next to me.

I was busy reading some reports about the recent aragami and their changes. Going through each report just made me feel sleepier.

I wonder what soma's doing…

Sakaki must have called him in to ask about the promotion offer. 5th unit leader huh? He will no longer be under my supervision anymore huh…

I didn't know what to do. I've liked him for such a long time that now that we were finally together, he's being assigned leader. After all, I did send sakaki the letter.

I can't be stubborn, with soma's supervision, less people will die every day. Even the god eaters under him will have a lower rate of dying in action.

Being a god eater was all about sacrifices.

A knock interrupts my thoughts.

"come in." I say as I pile up the papers on my bed.

A certain platinum blonde comes in with his classic black collar shirt and yellow tie, with the official fenrir white high-collar coat.

He walks over and sits on the corner of my bed, eyeing the piled up reports.

"geez, I thought I told you to rest, you're sick." Soma says as he looks at me.

"aragami don't ever take a day off killing people. You know I can't just sit idly and wait." I reply.

"and that's what worries me the most. You work too hard." He replies.

"it's really part of my job, you know. God eaters don't really get vacations do they?" I say as I smirk.

"stubborn asshole." He says to me.

"you were like that too when Lindow was the leader. Going on solo missions and wandering off alone as if wasn't stubborn?" I laugh as I smirk at him.

"hey, you know I stopped doing that a long time ago." He says grumpy.

"that's the exact reason why you're getting promoted." I say in a small voice.

He stays silent and stares at my eyes.

"you knew it all along?" he asked.

"I heard it while I was half-asleep. Sakaki didn't tell you about the letter of recognition I sent?" I asked.

"so you were the one who sent that letter. Why didn't you ask me first?" he asked obviously not satisfied.

"Soma, you should know that you have more experience than I ever did. In fact, you're strong enough to take on the role of a leader. I know you've been waiting for this promotion for a long time." I say smiling.

He stays silent with a frown.

"so….did you accept the offer?" I ask curious.

"I told him I'd consider the promotion." He says.

"huh? Why?" I ask.

"because I'm worried about you! The last mission almost got you killed." He says with hurtful blue eyes staring at me.

Soma….

"I'm sorry….but please don't forfeit the offer. You know god eaters are prepared to die any time in battle, you can't protect me forever." I say holding his hand.

"I know that….I just…don't want to let any more important people die." He says with a hurtful expression.

"Soma….once you're leader of the 5th unit, you'd have to protect not only the powerless people, but your subordinates as well. I'm a leader, I'm your leader, and I'm a god eater, I'd do anything if it meant protecting the people beside me, including you. Please understand that." I say to him.

I play with his fingers hoping to ease the tenseness he feels.

Still not used to the close touch, I try my best to hide the blush in my cheeks.

He puts his arms around me, the warmth travelling around my body.

The close embrace makes my heart flutter.

"Promise me, that you'd do your best to survive. Don't do reckless things like going on solo missions that you know you can't handle. Don't strain yourself by going on continuous missions and guarding the ghetto at night." He says.

I nod with a smile.

"You too, soma. Promise me…that you'd come back to the den no matter what." I say as I wrap my hands around his back.

"got it, stubborn asshole." He replies with a smirk.

He was glad that he found someone, to share his soul with.

And she too was happy, that she was able to love him without hiding it anymore.

The closeness that they share is something that they both want to enjoy. They don't mind the skin contact, as they only exchange smiles and small topics like what he did during the past two weeks that she was unconscious.

**That moment, both of them knew, that they're worlds seem complete, with each other by their side.**

The world suddenly doesn't feel so lonely anymore, now that they both have each other.

…

"awhhhhh! Aren't they cute?" sakuya said while peeking at the window of the sick bay.

"so that's why leader went missing! I can't believe they were hiding it from us!" kota said.

" it's not a good idea to mess with others' relationships you know." Alisa said.

"geez, if we never came over to check on leader, we would never have found out! That sneaky soma!" Lindow said.

"why don't I ever see you hugging me like that Lindow?" sakuya asked with an intense glare.

"we do. At night when everyone sleeps." Lindow replied honestly.

"oh no- hey! Don't tell us what you guys do at night!" kota said.

"like how you told me you stayed up all night to watch bugarally?" Alisa said.

"you sure it's not some 'adult movies' kota?" Lindow asked.

"don't tease him, Lindow! He's still a kid you know!" sakuya said.

"yeah. I remember the kid that was twelve and went on his first mission with me. He's inside hugging a girl right now. " Lindow replied.

"time flies, doesn't it?" alisa said.

* * *

It does! Cause I finally finished writing chapter two of "confession before death"! it took me forever with all the tests and extra practice this week, I even have an -additional maths test(that i practically failed) and science : chapter 4-matter & substance test in less than 12 hours. Ohhh,it's time to read for that test now, I need some sleep!

Hope you liked it :D **remember to follow me for the next sequel to this fic!** And remember to review guys :D


End file.
